the c word

When she first said the "c" word I didn't freak out.  I knew it was a fact - that's why I was there.  In the back of my mind for the past four and a half years I knew that's what it was.  I just kept putting off a visit to the dr.  Although she is very positive it is Basal Cell Carcinoma, she numbed the area and scrapped off some of the tissue for a biopsy. . .this didn't freak me out either.

While at home, about to give RyAnne a bath, I decided to take off the bandage and see what the dr had done.  That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  The wound wasn't as small as I thought it would be and it was deep.  All I could see was white, bloody, raw flesh and the cancer word flashing through my mind.  I could hardly look at it.  I felt the burn of the air and frantically put on another bandage.

I know this is the most common type of skin cancer BUT it's still cancer.  :(  And I still have to have the rest of it dug out once the lab results come back.  I'm 29.  I never thought at this young I would need to be concerned with such things and have a to deal with the scar.

So here I sit with information brochures about this issue and I'm left feeling angry and scared.  Why didn't I just wear more sunscreen???